Beverly Hills Season 3 Episode 13

I’d like to call this post… Who’s in my Camp?

Before moving onto the tea party, I suppose I should quickly go over the beginning of the episode.

Kyle is getting ready to meet with Lisa and she’s telling Mauricio about how nervous she is or whatever. When she goes to meet Lisa she comes up with some BS that Lisa can take care of herself and she didn’t think Lisa needed back up. Kyle starts crying, which is just overly dramatic. Kyle wants them to just move on and stop holding grudges. Nevermind the fact that she gives Lisa a reason to hold a grudge…

Yolands and Brandi get together. Yolands thinks Brandi has been great and Adrienne needs to get over herself. I agree! “Who is Adrienne Maloof in this world?” Right.

 

Tea Party

Now the gates open up to Villa Rosa– Lisa’s home which has an Indian sort of vibe to it…much like SUR. She’s busy setting up a little get together for the girls. This is also a plug for Vanderpump Rules because some of the boys who work there are helping her out.

Brandi shows up looking like a million bucks. Now, I’m definitely Team Brandi at this point. But I won’t say she’s THE most beautiful person in the world. She definitely has an awesome body. But for some reason, maybe it’s her makeup or the pink highlights her face well, she’s looking very pretty.

Brandi gives Taylor a tour of Lisa’s house.

Marisa shows up to Lisa’s. She looks cute too. The girls are looking cute. I love this tea party style.

Adrienne is unfortunately invited. So here she comes in her black dress, ruining the vibe. Kyle’s dress isn’t too summery either.

And Bravo. C’mon! C’mon! FAYE? Ughh, why is Faye going…

While we are on the subject of Faye going to the party. Kyle tweeted saying Lisa had invited Faye. Lisa responded by saying it was a lie. Very juicy drama on Twitter. These crazy ladies.

Bravo, I said I was going to boycott scenes with Faye in them and so far I have. But since this whole episode is frankly about the tea party, I cannot. Still, hate her. And I think most viewers will agree.

Taylor points out Adrienne has been selling stories. Can I sell stories? That sounds like fun.

The three worst girls in the B Hills arrive in the same limo. Adrienne, Kyle, and Faye. Everyone is confused as to why Faye is there.

Camille shows up looking so cute. This was a good outfit day for most of the ladies. She brings gifts to Lisa to try and move forward from dinner and exclaiming that Lisa doesn’t own SUR. Lisa accepts.

Where’s  Kim? Kim’s not coming anymore because her dog hit her in the nose job. (That’s a new one).

So, I love tea. And watching the house maids make the tea and bring out all the goodies brought out a good amount of jealousy in me. They all sit down to formally drink tea…I guess. The table is pretty and pink. And…it’s pretty awkward. Everyone’s glancing around like something’s going to happen, especially when Lisa says everyone needs to get over the stupid stuff and be thankful for what they have.

The boys bring out these little tiny sandwiches. I would eat the whole damn tray. But the ladies slowly pick and eat while they open their gifts. Everyone gets a robe. That’s a little weird, but hey. It’s probably a very expensive robe and I’d take it.

Taylor gets drunk again and laughs obnoxiously. She gives everyone the finger when they tell her to do a flip or something. She says something like, “If I break my neck, I’ll have to sue everyone here.” AWWWKWAARDDDDDD. Everyone’s silent.

Kyle says she’s very excited about the white party. Taylor brings up last year and being kicked out of the party. It gets quiet again and Brandi tries to lighten things up. Lisa asks Brandi and Taylor to carry something into the kitchen. Obviously doesn’t need to be brought in, but she wants to talk to them. Everyone else at the table can see it too. Lisa, once she gets her aside, tells Taylor to cut the innuendos and cut the crap.

Adrienne says there is no law suit. Camille for some reason thinks its her job to tell everyone. I find it kind of creepy and very Camille Season 1 when she says, “She’s not suing her!” and smiles. Her smile looks too happy and excited, like a kid about to get cotton candy or something.

Taylor is upset because when Russel sent a letter, it was the end of the world to the girls. But when Adrienne does it, it’s okay. Taylor thinks Adrienne is lying about the lawsuit and letter. Adrienne says, well look at Brandi’s track record. Oh right. The track record where everyone calls her liar..but she’s usually telling the truth.

Finally Brandi is back at the table. Adrienne says there is no lawsuit. Brandi, looking like she wants to get over it, says good. But Taylor won’t let it go. She says Adrienne sent the letter. Adrienne says no. Brandi is shocked that she’s lying.

Adrienne gets very defensive. She keeps saying Absolutely not….

Now we move onto the camps…

Adrienne then goes onto say Brandi accused someone from her “camp” about saying false things about her. I guess Bernie was the one who did it! Adrienne says, don’t you attack Bernie…Well, Bernie doesn’t exactly have the best track record. In fact, wasn’t there some kind of drama going on about Paul suing Bernie about spreading rumors? I thought I had read that somewhere. There’s a shot of Kyle and she looks very happy about the bashing on Brandi.

In an interview, Lisa tells us she thinks Adrienne is lying. A letter came from her camp. Again with the camp! Is this the buzz word of the day?

Who’s in my camp? My mom. My boyfriend I guess…if he doesn’t eat all the s’mores. That about wraps up my camp.

Brandi says she apologized in an email where she CC’d all the ladies so they couldn’t keep saying she didn’t apologize. They raise their voices and Brandi decides to leave. Good. I’m glad she’s choosing to walk away, but swearing at Adrienne as she walks away isn’t the best choice.

Kyle laughs that she’s never coming to one of Lisa’s tea parties ever again. This little drama queen. She loves it.

 

Final Thoughts

Adrienne’s a liar. Her camp needs to get their shit together.

 

Twitter Battle: Yolanda v. Marisa

Woah-oh!

Looks like things are alive with the sound of angry tweeting.

Apparently Yolanda wasn’t in love with Marisa’s blog…wait so Marisa has a blog now too. Is she an official housewife or what? I don’t read the blogs, but maybe I should. They seem to be quite juicy. Missed the fight that happened around 7 PM Central Time? No worries.

 

 

 

Seeing as I’m totally Pro-Yo, Marisa falls down even further in my book. Tsk, tsk. Is it just me or does she tweet like a girl in junior high? UMMMM!! WHATEVER!!!!

Beverly Hills Season 3 Episode 12

We’re back in Vegas with the ladies!

 

Meow

They’re all having loads of fun on the stripper pole except for Debbie Downer Marisa. Ick. What a buzz kill. She makes a comment about how being on a pole doesn’t empower women. Is she saying it degrades them? Maybe it’s a matter of opinion, but I sure as hell know I feel on top of the world when I go out dancing. Lighten up, Marisa! It’s fun. When she does have to go up to the pole, her half-assed bun bouncing all the way there, she keeps making comments on how she’s not sexy. That’s like…not sexy. Marisa moves down a couple points on my love meter.

In fact, after last night, she moves down quite a bit more. After a twitter fan asks whether or not Alex McCord (remember from NY?) thinks her and Marisa look alike (they kind of do), Marisa says it’s not a compliment at all! Ouch. Simon steps up to his wife’s defense and tells Marisa “#shameonyou.” She then goes on to throw small jabs at Simon and says he shouldn’t be reading this because he’s a man. Excuse me?

Bad, Marisa. Bad.

 

The Purse that No One Bought

Anyway, we go on to see Adrienne going to some meeting about her new purse/accessory line. What’s with these housewives thinking that people want to buy a bag with their name on it? It’s absolutely hideous. No one’s going to want to buy it. Not even at Marshall’s.

She makes a very bad jab at Brandi, saying she chooses to make a living selling bags and shoes. Brandi has to do it on a pole. 1) Your line is not going to be successful because a) your style sucks and b) no one wants an Adrienne Maloof bag. Lots of bullet points going on here. And 2) Girls want to go out and have fun. Period. So even if Brandi wasn’t there, they’d still do it! Hence, it will be successful 3) Maybe Adrienne can get a roll in a movie as a Freddy Kruger stunt double. Seriously, has any one ever asked Adrienne if she was happy with the way her face turned out? Maybe then we could also find out if she’s delusional.

Kyle gets a call from Kim in the limo, informing her that Kim’s going to get her nose done. Yolands doesn’t think it’s a good idea. The anesthesia is not a good thing for Kim.

Paul gets his back lasered to remove the hair. Every time Adrienne and Paul are on screen they are bitching at each other and this is even more stressful to me than the girls ripping each other apart on a reunion. It is so awkward.

Kim goes under to get her nose done.

 

Dinner and Jabs

This is where shit gets good. Dinner in Vegas.

The table is really pretty and all. The girls talk about Kim’s situation with her surgery. They are all worried that the pain medication Kim will take for her surgery will make her go back to her addictions. It’s a good point, but Kyle doesn’t think it’s very on concerning Kim. Yolands is worried as well.

Kyle gets very defensive when people ask why Kim wanted to do this. Kyle for once sticks up for her sister saying that maybe she is strong enough to do it and she really wanted it. They all move on and cheers, but Kyle has this very annoyed look on her face. Something tells me she doesn’t want to hide it either. I think Yolands sees it too.

Camille is sad Adrienne isn’t around. Yolands says she chose not to come. That’s right. Brandi says that she just doesn’t agree with her. Lisa asks Brandi to bring up the hidden secrets going on behind the cameras.

Apparently, Adrienne wanted to meet with Brandi, saying they were going to go against Lisa during the (last) reunion. Brandi called Camille freaking out. Camille said she knew that the other women were going to go after Lisa. Camille denies this and jumps up, very defensive. And watching this as the moment, I agreed with Lisa when she pointed out that Camille wouldn’t have gotten so riled up if she really didn’t say that. Camille gets high and mighty and tells Brandi that she is lying.

Very quietly, Camille says she will not stand for it, gets up, and struts away. Kyle jumps up and wobbles to her. Camille says Brandi is lying. Even in her interview, she says she did not say she knew about the ambush. She comes back and gives some bullshit about perspectives and how everyone sees things differently.

Brandi comes out saying Adrienne doesn’t own the Palms. She only owns 2% or something like that. Kyle thinks it’s very mean to say. So then Camille comes out and says that Lisa doesn’t own SUR. Lisa is all WTF, I invested in it (51%), dumb dumb. I never said I own the whole thing. Yolands doesn’t understand all this commotion. Who cares. Adrienne’s not here. She chose not to be here. Why is this conversation going on?  It’s no ones business who owns what.

So then Camille jumps up and says, “THAT’S THE POINT YOLANDA.” And gets all finicky and jumpy. Yolands shooshes her like a child and Camille checks herself. LOL. It’s so funny.

The girls jump up. Yolands is over it. She says they’ve wasted 3 dinners about this. In an interview, she says Kyle loves the drama. OMG, she does. She so does. Kyle is that girl who huffs in the corner that she hates drama, but is the first one to make a face or jump into something. She is such a gossip girl.

Brandi says she clearly knows where Camille stands. Camille is all, “What does that mean?” Yolands gets the hell out of there in her private plane. This is not worth her time.

So they all get up to finish dinner. Kyle says she feels stuck between Adrienne and Lisa. Um, no you don’t. Kyle is Adrienne’s attack dog. Though I don’t know why. Adrienne’s face could scare anyone away by itself.

Here is the real cool part. Camille and Brandi are standing in a hallway after the dinner. Camille is all upset that Brandi said Camille knew they were going to attack Lisa on the reunion. Brandi recalls the conversation with Camille on the phone, asking her whether or not she should meet with Adrienne. Camille says, yes I remember that. And Brandi asks her, “Don’t you remember the rest of the conversation?” Camille says something like, “I remember parts of it…but you put me on the spot by bringing it up.” Oh so interesting.

If that’s not a confession that she actually did say it and that she outright lied by denying it the whole time and played the “Brandi lies” card when she didn’t lie, I don’t know what is. On top of it, she tells us in an interview that she never said it. So now she’s lying to us too. Naughty, naughty, Camille. Way to throw Brandi under the bus.

Back In B Hills, Kim is recovering from her surgery and she made the decision not to take pain meds.

Lisa and Ken talk about Kyle being a shitty friend. Kyle tells Kim about Vegas. BLA BLA BLA.

 

Final Thoughts

Seriously, where’s Taylor? Ohhh, there she is. In the preview, giving the ‘look’ to Adrienne. That’s going to be good.

Also, Camille is a liar! Just fess up to it. They know they all talk shit about each other anyway.

 

Brandi On Jay Leno

My girl.

 

 

Beverly Hills Season 3 Episode 11

Having just watched this episode on demand, I’m going off what is fresh in my mind– not off written notes because I was too busy eating. So, don’t mind my skipping around too much. It’s the main points that count, right?

 

Martha Stewart, Back Off

So let’s start of with Yolands in her kitchen making something not only yummy, but also very pretty looking. Her friend Suzanne Somers stops by, along with Kyle and Lisa. So random. Anyway, they enjoy some food in Yolands ‘s awesome backyard and Suzanne talks about what it takes to live forever. A bunch of pills zip-locked in a freezer bag apparently.  Suzanne says you need to have a good sex life, and Lisa says, “Oh really? Oh no.” Or something along those lines. You know, it’s her typical ‘I hate having sex but do I really? hmmm bad, girl’ routine that is kindaaaaaa getting old.

But it was a wonderful time. Cheers, cheers, cheers.

Because I am on a Faye boycott and refuse to talk about scenes her face seems to butt into, I’m going to skip over Kyle’s daughter’s 6th grade graduation party. Adrienne and Paul show up, Kyle says a nice speech, but that’s all I got to say.

 

A Nose Doctor Knows About the Nose

Now we move onto Kim. Every time I see her, I seriously go, “Oh yeah! Kim’s a housewife.” It’s just so easy to forget. Anyway, she’s always looking at something or talking about her kids with the hired help and this is no different. While she is going over photos of her kids at younger ages, she says she wants a nose job……….what? Her nose is perfectly fine. Never did I once look at her and think, “Geez, that nose.” That is so random. But apparently she asked a plastic surgeon if she should get any face lifts and he flattered her by saying no. But the nose, he could do.

 

Getting Ready for Vegas!

Brandi has a friend, Adrienne, over…not that Adrienne..another. And they are trying to figure out what Brandi should pack for Vegas since she is doing that party-with-Brandi gig. I remember her calling it some kind of school, but I don’t know. She also practices pole dancing in a scene…and doesn’t seem too bad at it. Like, at all.

Then we move to Marisa’s house. So is she a housewife? Is she not? Is she an honorary friend? Looks like she’s taking  a bigger role because she will be going to Vegas. So Marisa, half-assed up do, a few too many accessories, and bra straps sticking out of a racer back (those strap perfects are available at Walgreens for like 5 bucks!), argues with her mom about what is cute and what isn’t. Everything I just mentioned: isn’t.

Lisa is also packing and Ken says she doesn’t need pole dancing lessons. Aw.

 

When a Man Loves a Woman

We move onto Yolands, again in her kitchen, and again making an amazing meal! Damn, I want to be her. She talks about how it’ so easy to cheat and men are simple. You feed them, you make them feel loved, you pat them on the head, you take them on walks, you rub their bellies. Very simple. And that’s why she and David work so well. She makes him feel like a man. And damn is she an amazing woman. Anyway, they fawn over their perfect view and each other.

 

Girl’s Night

The girls are in Vegas and having a blast at dinner! They rip on LeAnn which I love. LeAnn sucks. And Kyle says she cannot imagine being pregnant and having your husband leave you and cheat on you. She doesn’t know what she would do. I don’t know what I would do. I don’t think many of us would even know where to begin!

Brandi makes Kyle eat an oyster. I was frustrated with Kyle’s response (she hated it) because gosh I love seafood and I would love to eat seafood in Vegas. But whatever. Brandi tells Marisa that she felt bad for Dean and Marisa brushes it off, like “we have a playful-banter relationship. He’s a good man and I’m very lucky.” Where are the tears, dammit? Just kidding, but not really.

So the girls have more fun and bond.

Kim goes to a surgeon to ask about her nose. And the girls do some warm up stripper routine thing.

 

Anticipation for Next Week

But what is even more exciting to me is the previews! Camille is on a mission! The girls are shown at dinner and Yolands has joined them. Camille yells at Yolands about something and then turns to Lisa and says, “You don’t own SUR.” I should really stop putting quotes around things I am paraphrasing. But she says something like that and Lisa is all, “Uh yes, I do, bitch.” Paraphrasing, but you know.

So I can’t help but wonder what has Camille’s panties all in a bunch and whether Season 1 Camille is back for some fun. Because really, we all love nice-nice Camille. But who doesn’t want to see a little bit of Season 1 come out?

 

Final Thoughts

I’m glad the girls are all giggling and having fun this week, because they sure ain’t next week. And um, where’s TayTay? With her lawyer boyfriend maybayyyy?

 

Beverly Hills Season 3 Episode 10

STFU!

The Moroccan extravaganza continues.

Now I know I didn’t cover last weeks episode and I know I will be walking into this skipping over a few things– but I’m making the assumption that you’ve caught yourself up.

So now we’re back with the lovely ladies of Beverly Hills, getting all Moroccan-ed up. Mauricio is continuing to argue with Brandi about Adrienne. OMGosh Mauricio, stfu! He keeps telling Brandi to pick up the phone and call Adrienne– that he’s been involved in many lawsuits that ended when he picked up the phone. I think last episode when Brandi said her lawyer advised her not to contact Adrienne, Mauricio sooooo smartly said that you don’t have to do everything your lawyer tells you. Award for Smartest House Husband: Mauricio. For suggesting you pay someone to take care of you legally, then don’t listen to them.

Ken (whom I love, that cutie pie) comes to the defense for Brandi. She does not have a husband to take care of her. She’s at this alone. She had just gotten out of a divorce and now has to deal with even more lawsuits. Go Ken for sticking up for Brandi.

Brandi finally socks it to Mauricio and tells him to stfu! I think she even calls him a motherf*cker…Anyway, I was waiting for her to blow up. It’s only a matter of time with this one. And I’m glad she did. Mauricio, in all honestly, is more annoying the more I see him!

And here comes Kyle, swooping in. She tells Mauricio to butt out. Honestly, butt out.

Taylor ArmSTRONG (emphasis on the strong) is talking to Camille and is stressing how she has had it so tough. That she had been through so much and she is so strong. And single females are so strong. And she is strong. Strong, strong, strong. Yolanda, not happy hearing this from across the room, tells Taylor to stop with the nonsense.

Annnnnddddd, I want to venture off onto a side topic. Brandi’s rumor.

 

The Surrogacy

This scene, where Yolanda tells Taylor to stop talking nonsense, is something to note. In this scene, we see and hear Kyle in the background, saying, “It’s not about the surrogacy. It’s not about the surrogacy.” She says it twice, just in case you missed it. However, this has led people to say…hey! The rumors about the rumor (so many rumors) that supposedly claimed that Adrienne did not have her children, but a surrogate mother did, might damn well be true! Here we have Kyle, yelling it across a restaurant, so it doesn’t get more clear than that. I wonder if there’s a lawsuit coming her way. Duck, Kyle!

Don’t believe me? See for yourself. It’s the second video on this blogger’s post.

Interestingly, I’ve been looking around the internet during my spare time and have noticed some rumors about Adrienne’s marriage. And at this point, I would like to give the credit to wherever I read this. I can’t find it at the moment. However, I remember reading Adrienne and Paul had faked the marriage for television. They had been on the rocks for a while but wanted to put on a good show for the cameras while boosting their own reps. This comes from a close source, I suppose. Also, Adrienne is dating Sean Stewart! According to her, he is the bee knees.

Enough about the Maloof Goofs. Let’s get back to the show.

Taylor continues to gossip to Camille (rather loudly) and that it pisses her off that Yolanda had the nerve to tell her she was talking nonsense while she is sitting in some castle in princess land sipping on tea with lemons (not her exact words, but basically the gist of it). She also says that they (her and Camille) know more about her (Yolanda’s) husband more than she knows they know. That’s a lot of ‘knows’. But hmmm…wonder what Taylor could be insinuating. Camille is all, “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” She has that look where you just really don’t want to hear it.

Brandi gets up to go to the bathroom. Yolanda goes to her. Lisa joins in. It’s the dream team! I love these girls together. They talk about why it’s not right for Mauricio to get involved.

And now everyone is leaving. Mauricio, even though he just ruined dinner and attacked Brandi, wants to let her know that it’s not personal. Brandi, standing her own, says, “Y’know, it kinda is.” Ken mumbles that Mauricio is a typical man. He continues to say something in another mumble which I can’t seem to make sense of. Something about men or women and knowing something. Mauricio does a half laugh, where he doesn’t really know how to take that.

Kyle claims he is not the typical man. Now, let’s play: Mauricio… The Typical Man?

Does Mauricio brag about how much he makes?

[x] Yes     [ ] No

Does Kyle sit at home all day and make babies while Mauricio walks around in his suit, apparently calling people on his phone all the time?

[x] Yes     [ ] No

Does Mauricio try to tell women what to do?

[x] Yes     [ ] No

Does Mauricio stand by his opinions and own them no matter what, not claiming that they aren’t personal?

[ ] Yes       [x] No (ooohhh, I guess that would put him under the Typical Boy category)

Three out of four points. My dear golly, I guess I would have to agree with Ken. And I guess most Bravo watchers do! (When asked whose side they were on on WWHL, 76% sided with Ken).

Thanks for playing, Mauricio.

 

Regroup

We move onto Paul and Adrienne arriving at Kyle’s home for a get together. Adrienne is typing away on her phone while Paul tries to lead her. She ain’t having it. Inside, they discuss the Brandi situation and how they had to go to New York to escape the toxicity she has created. Toxicity? If that’s toxicity, I should be going to New York on a regular basis!

Kyle is appalled by the way Brandi had talked to Mauricio and if it had been anyone else, she would have launched across the room and taught them a lesson! Hey, Kyle saying one thing away from someone’s face then another to someone’s face? That NEVER happens.

 

YOLANDS!

Yolanda is decorating a home for her ex-husband and that’s about all I got from that whole scene. She also demands someone study the English before bed every night. She is still perfect and is still living my dream life.

 

Turbo Tax

THE TAX COMMERCIAL! The tax commercial from Turbo Tax with Kyle in it? Did anyone else find that hilarious? That Turbo Tax actually thinks that will reach us Bravo viewers? Kyle narrating a valet’s life? That’s so sad it’s funny.

 

Back to Business

We have some more fun with Yolanda and her kids and MoMo, the ex. Yay!

Then the scene switches and I catch a glimpse of Faye. So, I turned my attention to my laundry. She will not waste a second of my time.

 

Brandi and Marisa Dine and Whine

Fast forward to Brandi’s dinner with Marisa. Marissa? At dinner, Marisa completely tears apart her husband. She says he isn’t that handsome and is the total opposite of what she usually goes for. Is it just me in this world that doesn’t go for tall, dark, and handsome? I like the classic handsome and would definitely go for Dean over Mauricio any day. She says how annoying it is that he does independent films. She wishes he did huge productions with all the money perks. OMG, does her husband watch this? What the hell can he be thinking?!

Brandi said she feels bad for Dean. Um, I do too!

Marisa says she and Brandi are alike. They are blunt and always say before they think…so how are Kyle and her friends?

 

The Art Gallery

The art gallery. The girlies all arrive. Marisa always has her hair tied back in some half assed, ‘I’m late to school’ sort of way. Which looks weird with her fancy dresses and big earrings. Kyle is wearing something around her head and looks like she’s wearing a jail suit jumpsuit. Ain’t cute!

So uhhh…hi Paris? How random is that! She stops by to say hello to the camera the girls. Marisa is again killing Dean. She says she doesn’t understand how other girls can think her husband is good looking. She thinks she got married too young and didn’t get to be a slut party. She didn’t even know who she was until 30! If all she says is true, then I am personally in huge shit.

Mauricio gives Ken a bottle of gin as a ‘I’m sorry’? I don’t know. I don’t know what else it could have been. Ken says he doesn’t like it. LOL. Mauricio says it’s amazing. So Ken sarcastically says, “It’s amazing!” He pretty much brushes Mauricio off and Lisa has her own awkward hello with him.

They leave. Mauricio turns around like a little girl and tells Kyle exactly what happened. She gets that look like it’s just the biggest news she’s ever heard and it’s outrageous! You know…this one?

Oh yeah, Yolanda buys a painting.

 

Final Thoughts

I wish Mauricio would go away.

 

Beverly Hills Season 3 Episode 8

This week’s RHOBH was rather dull and boring, especially after all that time we waited from last time.

I would have had this recap up sooner, but alas, real life gets in the way and my Monday nights are plagued by responsibilities. Nevertheless, I have caught up and am totes ready to give my two cents.

 

Brandi Walks Away

The episode picks up where the last one left off: Kyle’s dinner party where Faye Resnick is still wielding a knife, ready to stab until…until…well, I’m not really sure why Faye continues to harp on Brandi or what she’s hoping to accomplish. Maybe for Brandi to send flowers to Adrienne. I don’t know.

Anyway, Brandi, sometimes a smart cookie, leaves the dinner party very distraught. Two face Kyle jumps from the round table and tackles through a football team of help and cooks to annoyingly follow her. Brandi keeps walking away as Kyle follows her down the street. She obviously is not interested in talking to Kyle or to further the attention on her.

But Kyle insists that she feels bad that this all happened at her dinner party. Sooooo what does that mean? If it happened at Lisa’s, you would have tag teamed with Faye? As if Kyle really cares. She should be the one taking responsibility. Wasn’t she the one who went to dinner with Faye and told the talking parrot what to repeat at the dinner table? I hope Brandi understands that.

Anyway, there’s some crying and more statements repeated like “It’s none of her business” and “I just don’t want to talk about it.” There’s some shots of the dinner table with Lisa and Faye and more “She is such a bad person” and “It’s really none of your business.” Things we’ve been hearing a lot of.

That scene finally ends…and we’re quite over it since it happened…like a million weeks ago.

 

Another Medium

We move on to Taylor. She starts the little segment by saying something along the lines of “I’ve been really busy so I don’t have the time or energy to care about the drama that happened yesterday.” Busy as in dating a married lawyer figuring her life out.

To aid in the fight, she enlists the help of a medium. And this scene is in no way new to a Bravo viewer. If I had a dollar for every time we saw a psychic medium on one of these shows I’d have a million like twenty dollars.  So it’s the typical routine. The medium is weird and walks around the house with chants. She sits down with Taylor and there’s some shots of Taylor looking extremely constipated concerned. I am just loving these cross outs today.

She asks if the courts will suck her dry or if a settlement will be reached. The psychic does this weird thing where she asks a father? or something whether or not there will be court. Then the spirit slaps her with the yes or no answer. Her head whips to the side or up. This happens a few times and the end result is that no, there will be no court. A settlement will be reached. Phew, Taylor says.

 

Namaste Bitches

Ahhh, the yoga scene. As a yogi myself, I enjoyed the fact that yoga was brought up, but then again heartbroken. We notice that no yoga will actually be done because Kyle’s hair is polished and shining in a half-up half-down do. And if you practice yoga, you know that that shit doesn’t fly. It gets all over the place.

Anyway, yoga is a perfect excuse to invite Marisa over, who were are seeing a lot of and whose face vaguely reminds me of Cruella Deville. That’s besides the point. They are not there to stretch and breathe; they are there to talk about the drama that happened at the dinner party. Kyle admits that she thinks Brandi is not truly sorry. Marisa says that she thinks Brandi is a cool girl. She was really nice to her at dinner and they bonded over talking about their children. Good for you, Marisa, to say what you truly think.

We get a little interview of Faye (ugh why?) saying that “she’s not buying Brandi’s apology.” Since when was it her place to buy anything? What does she have to do with anything? Go home, Faye.

Marisa also got a interview…are they just giving those interviews away at Bravo? Where can I pick up mine?

The yoga instructor scolds Kyle and Marisa for not truly being into their workout. The girls giggle because they are just oh so silly gals gossiping all cute. I wonder how much he’s getting paid to stand there.

 

Is it Cold in Here?

Lisa and Brandi — BFFLs– go shopping. Brandi picks out a pretty trashy sparkly skirt that doesn’t look like it’d go over the butt and her nipples might as well have interviews of their own because they are popping out so much that Bravo had to blur them out. But that has always been Brandi’s style and, like I’ve said before, with Brandi, you know what to expect.

So here’s the plug for Lisa’s new show. Lisa wants Brandi to sit down with Scheana, Shana?, Scheena? and talk about the cheating scandal. Brandi doesn’t know if she should do it. A simple, short scene.

Now we check in with Taylor again. The medium is right! The lawsuit can be settled, but the lawyer (AKA married man boyfriend at the time just ‘friends’) says that Taylor needs to give up her wedding ring and two really expensive bags that I just can’t remember the name of. She is heartbroken by this news and tears up. She asks her lawyer if she can let him know in a couple days. And he says, “yeah that’s fine, they just want to know by tomorrow.” Okay, awkward.

 

Perfect Mom Award

Yolanda! How I’ve missed my Yolands. Yolands is playing the perfect housewife as always, looking great doing it. She says her daughter can’t do volleyball because she’s got to focus on modeling. I could see how people would not like this statement. But I kinda have to agree with her. Her daughter is such model material. It’s a tricky thing not to ruin that. But like everyone wants me to say… “stop controlling your daughter,” “let her live dammit,” and the like. David Foster talks about how much he loves Yolands and how she takes care of him. I would too if I lived like that.

That’s all we got from Yolands. She’s pretty much just out of the loop and doing her own thing in her gigantic house.

 

Adrienne and Paul Working Together

Is it just me or does anyone feel SO AWKWARD watching Adrienne and Paul on screen? It gives me so much anxiety! I’m not sure if it’s because of all the things that are happening now like the divorce and lies or if they are just truly awkward. My roommate, who knows nothing of the show, asked if Paul was Adrienne’s ex husband. That was a mess to explain, but even so, that proves that they just do not seem in love. The smiles on the camera ain’t fooling anyone.

So, Adrienne and Paul are coming up with this face stuff that Adrienne uses on her face and wants to give it to the public… as if anyone would ever want their face to look like something that came out of Lord of the Rings. Just saying, lay off of it Adrienne. Anyway, she says a little more about Brandi in her interview. Whatevs.

 

Dinner and Drinks

Kyle, Adrienne, and Taylor plus their men (lawyer boyfriend/just friends included) sit down for dinner. Taylor announces she gave up her ring and bags. The ladies make a point that it’s not about material things. Yeah…right.

 

The Confrontation

Now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. I feel a little guilty because I feel like I owe you more. I feel like I need to say more than I’m going to say because this moment has been blown up so much. But the Brandi and Scheana scene just sucked so much! The bridge to Vanderpump Rules sucked so much! I absolutely hated everything from this point on.

Brandi basically rocks the confrontation and Scheana tries playing the “I was in love with him!” card. I’m really proud of Brandi’s strength here and I don’t even know her. If this had all happened to me, I’d be crying in the corner. But Brandi has truly accepted it, is willing to face it whenever, and move on. My favorite line is when she basically says, look at us. I’m the one who’s doing a lot better in life. I have my own thoughts on how cheesy, unclassy, and desperate Scheana comes off, but  I’ll save us the time.

But how old is Scheana? She seriously looks 15.

This is when things get awkward. After the confrontation and everything is deemed okay, music starts playing. Music with words…UM WHAT? Since when has the housewives played anything with words? And it’s cheesy, too. It’s so awkward! And then you know what’s going to happen when the camera does not follow Brandi, but follows Scheana who talks to Lisa. Lisa brings up SUR and Vanderpump Rules begins.

Because I was still finishing eating some crackers with spreadable cheese wedges, I did sit through the first ten minutes. The music is annoying. The atmosphere is annoying. The drama is fake…and annoying. The people? Annoying. Thanks, but no thanks. I’m really not into it and I will not be watching this show. Bring back the housewives! Take these kids to the dump.

 

Final Thoughts

This episode was very slow moving. Nothing really happened. The confrontation with Brandi and Scheana was the highlight and it was pretty inspiring to watch Brandi hand it to her. But the segway to Lisa’s show completely ruined it and made the whole housewives franchise look really, really dumb.

 

Happy New Year!

 

 

Happy New Year to all!

As we look towards the new year, we want to think about our resolutions, what we hope to achieve, and what we hope to learn. However, there ain’t no future without the past or present.

To honor the upcoming year and all the good things to come, I’ve decided to take some rather angry moments in housewives history and pump it up with some new years fun. Without further adieu, let’s take those frowns upside down.

I think someone’s super excited about this new year! That’s some intense dancing.

Also, former DC housewife and sharp tongued Brit, Catherine Ommanney welcomed her daughter Zara Isabella to the world on December 28th. What a great start to a new year.

Adorbs.

Happy New Year everyone! It’s all about new beginnings, love, and happiness. I hope it’s fabulous.

 

 

Beverly Hills Season 3 Episode 7

Dramarama

The episode begins where the last one left off: at the Agency’s event. Kyle attacks Kim like she so often does. While we all know how it feels to be the odd girl out, when everyone knows something you don’t, I don’t think the reasonable thing to do is take Adrienne aside right away and blab everything she knows. Wasn’t the best idea, but understandable. It’s not completely random. I’m surprised that I didn’t see any backlash from Brandi about this, knowing that Kim and Brandi were on shaky terms from the start and only beginning to get better. This might speak to her desire to really settle things with Kim and want to make it better.

Brandi has been one of those housewives that takes some time to like. When she entered the scene, most of the women were against her in the show, as was I watching it. She seemed very classless and rude. While she might not be the most sophisticated of women, Brandi’s charm comes from her truthfulness and bluntness. Like it or not, that is who she is and that’s all she’s ever shown us. Unlike some of the other women who seem to change their personalities every season, you know what you’re going to get from Brandi.

Mauricio seems to be taking a dip into the drama and picks a side as well. Although he doesn’t outright say it in the beginning, he disagrees with everything Brandi and her friend has to say. Taylor gets a little stunned by Paul’s behavior, bringing some bad memories up. Kyle so rudely says in an interview that it’s not about Taylor. Way to be a good friend there, champ. Taylor isn’t my favorite housewife by far, but ‘friends’ don’t do that. I felt a little uncomfortable with Paul’s behavior as well.

My whole beef with this drama is that they won’t say what the hell Brandi said. This is bringing me back to Elaine v. Marysol from Miami. We don’t know what’s been said or what’s going on, so why should we care about the drama that ensues? Bravo! What’s the deal? Horrible TV right there. Ooooh, that bugs me.

Later, Brandi sends Ken flowers. Her crush, joke or whatever, is funny and I like the relationship she has with the Vanderpumps. Kim is at the gym and talks about going to Vegas for her son’s birthday. Now that’s a slippery slope. She’s been doing great and I am happy to see her happy. She was actually one of my favorite housewives in the past seasons even though we saw so little of her and she was out of it for most of the time.

 

Mr. Housewife Wants Some Action

Mauricio wants to join the Mean Girls and asks Kyle to sit down to talk gossip. He doesn’t like the idea that Brandi is invited to the dinner party. Good for you, Kyle, to invite Brandi and understand he’s only taking sides because he doesn’t know Brandi. This is what I mean about Kyle. She acts reasonable and mature sometimes, like in this scene. But then, she goes and acts a different way with someone else. It’s confusing and inconsistent.

Mauricio doesn’t know what to tell Kyle; he doesn’t want Brandi there. Tough luck, kid. Let the housewives be on the housewives and go sell some houses so you can buy more cars.

 

Mean Girl Conference

Right when you see Faye, you know there’s trouble coming. I wonder if she knows that agreeing to be on the show is basically a character suicide. Every time she’s on screen, she’s aggressive, doesn’t even know much, and keeps pushing. She didn’t come off looking crazy at the last notorious dinner party because Camille and her psycho sidekick took that spot. However, this time, Faye is definitely taking the villain role.

 

Look, Mom! I’m on TV!

Switch to Lisa’s house. Here comes Scheana dying for some airtime. She wants to talk to Brandi, but Lisa will not have it right now. Some common sense there. She shoos her out, but, as we know, Brandi and Scheana do meet on the next episode. And from what Bravo has shown, Brandi rocks it. Good for her.

 

No Sweat

Now we move onto Yolanda who has not been in the last two episodes really. She’s looking fabulous, fit, and gorgeous as always. There’s something about Yolanda that I just love. Just like Kim said, she has a good soul. You can see her love for people. She’s an amazing host, has an amazing house, and looks great. There’s also something so hilarious about Yolanda in this group of women. She spouts of peaceful and classy babble and the girls mostly ignore her. It’s great and funny. Anyway, she barely has a role in this episode as well and they probably only showed it to remind people she was still alive. She doesn’t show up for the rest of the show.

Back to Lisa’s. Brandi and her have girl talk. Brandi wants to share her side of the story and feels really anxious about it. Lisa thinks things are pretty ugly. Nay, Brandi says. They can get so much worse. “Trust me.” We do and we are ready.

 

Dinner Party from Hell: Take Two

Kyle’s dinner party. What the hell is the dress code? Kyle is wearing a jumpsuit with diamonds, Taylor looks like she’s about to smoke on the beach, someone’s wearing a dress, and Camille looks comfy casual. This foreshadows the mess that the dinner party will become.

Brandi feels bad that Adrienne isn’t there because of her. Someone at the table is interested in the drama and so Brandi says what she thinks because the girls asked. Faye jumps on something Brandi says and that’s when Faye puts her helmet on and is ready to tackle.

I feel bad for Brandi in all of this because Faye is clearly on the offense, Kyle is backing her up, and she’s all ganged up on. Brandi says that before the last reunion, Adrienne met with her and told her to be on ‘their side’ because they were going to gang up on Lisa. Brandi didn’t agree. Because Adrienne didn’t like that, she went against Brandi.

Faye starts getting snappy and rude. It’s one thing to say what you think, but one thing I cannot stand is when someone talks to someone else as if they are stupid. Faye, get off your high horse. Everyone else, butt out. Brandi holds her own even though they bombard her.

Lisa tries to get it dropped. Kyle jumps on her for being on the ‘I hate Adrienne’ train and Lisa basically asks her why the eff she even cares. Why do you care?

Marisa comes to Brandi’s defense. Woohoo! Go girl. Faye tries to shush her and says that she doesn’t know Brandi. News flash, Faye, NEITHER DO YOU! She goes on to attack Brandi’s personality and calls her an attention seeker. Faye cannot wait to hear what Brandi will start saying about her. Hey, what about what the audience will say when they see how crazy you acted? Brandi leaves with dignity and class. She really kept a level head through it all and defended herself without attacking and pointing fingers. I just wonder when she will stop being bullied.

 

Final Thoughts

Faye on the show is a mess. She is such a drama tank that attacks everything in her way. I don’t know why she thinks she can get into things when the only source of her information is Kyle who flip flops every episode. Brandi kept her cool and held her own as she was attacked yet again. The drama between Adrienne and Brandi is hard to follow because there is so much going on that we don’t know about, a major flaw in the show. And um, more Yolanda please!