Miami Season 2 Episode 16

The reunion begins with the usual meet and greet. Andy went around and said hi to everyone.

Lea was shining in diamonds. Ana looked absolutely gorgeous. But Adriana’s dress automatically reminded me of Tre’s dress from the RHONJ reunion. Channeling a little bit of her spunk there, Adriana?

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Okay, maybe a little different. But the spunk was still there.

 

The Plastics

We move onto talking about plastic surgery or “enhancements.” Po-ta-toe, Pot-a-toe. Lisa says her husband has only done her breasts and injected her face. The list of all the other things she’s done pre-Lenny was just too long to share. We’d need a couple more parts to the reunion for that. Joanna says she had breast enhancements, Lea says she hasn’t touched her face. Mama Elsa gets mentioned with her unfortunate surgeries.

Now, we move on to the good stuff. Joanna and Romain. Andy heard they broke up. They did, but now they are back together, thanks to her mom! Adriana scoffs. Lies, she says. Publicity stunt. She is so ready with her claws in this reunion. Just the faces she makes while Joanna is speaking lets you know that she will not stay quite for one second.

Joanna v. Adriana is a tough one for me. I honestly don’t dislike either. Adriana is always fun and crazy, which I love. She is a little harsh in the reunion, however. Joanna can be crazy literally and sometimes I want to cringe when she speaks, but she sort of reminds me of a typical girl that we can all relate to. When Andy asks if Joanna thinks Romain is getting a little something something from someone else, Adriana goes on a laughing spree and claps.

Ana makes a point about bullying, saying it’s a huge deal and a serious issue. Adriana and Joanna have no right to call each other bullies. Lisa steps in and says she’s been bullied, but she doesn’t act like a psycho. And then–boom. Joanna says her and Lisa are not friends anymore. Left field, anyone? Lisa didn’t want to take sides and I guess that was the whole thing that split them apart.

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Lisa is such a tough bug for me. I told you I disliked her in the beginning, which I did. Then I started to like her, which I did. But her whole peacemaker “Hey I’m actually a really smart and really cool and totally calm girl” act is a little forced and honestly a little overdone. She has taken so many roles in this season, it’s hard to tell which she is.

Lea tears up as she tells Adriana she’s basically acting like a lunatic. Which she is.

 

Housewife Hunter #2

Okay, this whole Karent and Rodolfo thing breezed over like it was nothing. Um, excuse me? It was the most ridiculous thing in this season and it caused a bit of drama in Bimini. When Andy asked Karent about it, she used her father’s illness as a buffer to bypass talking about it. Why? Because she knows she looked like a complete idiot the whole time? Because she’d rather comment on other people’s fights than start her own? Remember, she cares when it matters. Eye roll.

By far the best line goes to– drum roll please—Ana! For calling Rodolfo the Mexican Slade. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. That is so fabulously perfect. Slade is crying on Gretchen’s couch, curling her hair, and picking up her dog’s shit watching this.

Anyway, Karent continues to spout more BS about believing her heart and putting up walls and more mumbo jumbo she read from the Dr. Phil website.

Lea says that she didn’t know everyone was attacking Karent until she saw the show and she was not okay with it. Oooh, baby. Ana is not having it! This is when she pulls up her britches and gets to business. Ana calls her out saying that Lea talked about Karent and she is nothing but a liar that puts on a facade. People drink up her koolaid for some reason and she won’t do it.

The show shows clips of Lea cutting everyone down with a laugh. All the girls say they were hurt by them. Lisa says she didn’t like Lea in the beginning because Lea thought she was an airhead. Wait a minute…She thought a girl whose tagline is “My husband is the number one plastic surgeon in this town and I’m his best creation” and walks around with her breasts up to her chin, and whose claim to fame is sitting her husband’s house…an airhead? NO. Obviously Lisa has more up her sleeve, but she really doesn’t make it easy to like her right off the bat.

Ana v. Lea continues. They cut each other down. Lea bashes Ana’s real estate deals or whatever. Ana doesn’t think Lea is self-made. And at this point, I’m kind of over it.

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Listen, I like Ana. She is the most real, most confident, most secure woman I’ve seen in most of the housewives, locations and all. So, if she is going after Lea for something, I have to believe she has a reason for it. I like Lea only for her humor. But, in the end, Ana wins my heart and I wonder where this fire comes from.

Not to say she isn’t being ridiculous at times with comments about Lea’s son, but she is angry and there is a reason. I just don’t truly know all of it. EDIT. When you assume, you make an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’ And that’s very true in this case. I assumed Ana was attacking Lea’s child. With a lot of times in the housewives franchise, you find yourself with a lack of information or totally withheld from any. Ana was not attacking Lea’s son. She was using Lea’s own words (socially awkward) that were used against her daughters.

According to Ana, “She said more than once that my girls were inappropriate potty mouths that will have trouble in social circles if they didn’t change their language – and also that the apples didn’t fall far from the tree. So when I said they weren’t socially awkward – that is what I was referring to and not her son who I have never exchanged 2 words with.”

Ana’s relationship with her ex and with her children is one I find very open and honest. I would like to have something like that in my future.

Maybe we should point the fingers at ourselves and say we’re assholes for jumping to the conclusion that Lea’s son would be deemed socially awkward by someone else.

Looks like Ana is slowly becoming one of my favorite housewives…and you know what I like to do about that? Buy their cookbooks of course!

 

Same Drama, Different Episode

We move onto Marysol v. Lea. This doesn’t really go anywhere either. It’s the same as the episodes. It’s about stuff that we haven’t seen and frankly don’t give a shit about. Ana tries to defend Marysol and Marysol doesn’t wait it. She doesn’t want to be made out to be the poor, unfortunate soul. Lea makes this outrageous accusation that if it wasn’t for Ana, her and Marysol would be friends. UM WHAT? Marysol says that’s stupid, which it is.

Lisa, brains and all, doesn’t get why the eff it’s such a big deal. Marysol makes good points. Her business is a big deal. It’s her life and she had girls to pay and girls who rely on the company. Lisa sits back because she realizes she doesn’t understand what it’s like to really work for something and have people depend on you. You freaked out because someone pushed someone into a pool at your party. It’s myyyy partyyy and I’ll cryyyy if I wanttt toooo. I think Marysol’s got a point here.

There’s a little tidbit about Adriana’s “beat me to the tweet.” Does anyone else hate these little 2 minute scenes as much as I do? Completely useless.

 

Me, Myself, and My Vodka

We move onto a segment of Joanna completely embarrassing herself with drinks. Does she think she has a problem? No. Does Adriana? Yes.

She calls her evil and that the truth is in the wine in Latin or something. They go at it like cats for a little bit– same old, same old.

Then it switches over to Adriana’s large mouth. She insults Polish immigrants, which I personally took offense to. But hey, Joanna makes fun of Adriana and Brazil’s slums. Tit for tat. Do two wrongs really make a right?

Adriana suggests that Joanna is a racist by some very vague tweets. That’s a very large stretch there.

They show Adriana’s and Joanna’s physical fight, which cracks me up every time! It’s so hilarious. Just the faces they make are hilarious. They continue to bicker. Meow, meow. Hiss, hiss.

She goes onto this dumb Ho-anna stuff. I guess Joanna said Adriana speaks Spanglish, so she called her Ho-anna. It was something dumb like that.

 

Final Thoughts

This reunion was highly, highly disappointing.

Was anyone as bored as me? It was the same stuff that happened throughout the season. The whole Rodolfo thing never reached a conclusion. Adriana and Joanna went at it and didn’t make sense half the time.

Over it.

 

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